CITES

The CITES database – the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora) is an extensive list onto which rare varieties of animals and plants are placed, to sanction innumerable arseclowns from international trade. Roughly 5000 species of animals and considerably more types of plants are protected by CITES against over-exploitation, whose database includes the Leontopithecus, Saguinus Oedipus, Ailuropoda melanoleuca Ailurus and the Balaenopteridae Humpback whale.

My friend Gough has recently had his sexual prowess added to the list.

Hippy Victory

The group collectively stop as one.

The bong is discarded, unpacked, forgotten for a moment; the playstation is temporarily unseen. Dye is spilt on the grass mat by the avid hemp clothes fashion designer of the group, and a half consumed pizza slice stops in mid air between box and mouth, as one murmurs; “Told ya so”, through a half-baked grin.

This comes as the Age, Nigel Free-Marijuana’s publication of choice - reveals that we're in it for the oil.